


tesla tongues

by orphan_account



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Reality, and shockfawkses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 17:37:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14502090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	tesla tongues

Reality is fickle- just as likely to break as forge- and nothing is certain.

In one universe, the Main one, Kurama, son of the Sage of Six Paths, is a Fire/Wind affinity. In this one, _she_ is Lightning. Her fur is not red-orange, it is a crackling, staticky cyan. She’s also the goofiest of the nine Bijuu, much more at home making messes and mildly inconveniencing people than killing and causing destruction like her male counterpart.

—

_Her container is boring. The little blonde boy just sits there, sad and depressed with big, teary eyes, and doesn’t ever use her ideas._ _**“Hey, kid,”** she says, **“we should go prank that vendor who pushed you.”**_ _He shakes his head no._ _**“C’mooooooooon!”** she whines, bouncing in place like an overgrown kitten, **“do it.”**_

_He does nothing._

_**“Do it do it do it do it do it do it do it,”** she begins chanting, lightning crackling between her tails and in her mouth, **“do it do it do it do it do it!”**_ _She grins cheekily as his frustration mounts and he shakes his head more firmly._

  ** _“Hey. Hey, kid. Kid, hey, hey. Do it.”_**

_The kid screeches in inarticulate rage and headbutts a wall. She cackles wildly._

_——_

The Wave mission goes to shit almost instantly.

Zabuza Momochi’s silent-killing mist crackles madly with electricity due to the ambient charge that weaves a cocoon around Uzumaki Naruto. Kubichiribocho, being made almost entirely of metal, becomes a conductor of electrical pain. Zabuza dies of heart palpitations after the shocks stop his heart and restart it in a different pattern several times. 

Naruto hasn’t a clue what or how that happened.

——

_Shukaku is not looking forward to seeing his eldest sister. _ _Ever since their creation, she has spread chaos, foiled plans, and made mockeries of men with the strength of gods._

_She had once even tripped the Sage down the side of a mountain._

_A **forty-thousand foot tall** mountain._

_He nearly cries in terror when he feels the static field around her Jinchuuriki._

_———_

Meanwhile, in the stomach of Death, Minato and Yin Kurama play strip poker.

Yin-Kura giggles lecherously at the half-nude form of the Yondaime Hokage, who grumbles and blushes as red as his wife’s hair.

———

 


End file.
